THE LIGHTER SIDE

April 7, 2016

son-of-the-mask

For some reason today was flashback day, as I was driving home I remembered some of the funnier things that have happened in over 40 years of ministry.

 

At the time I was a prison chaplain and wearing my clerical collar, I stopped in one of the worst parts of town to get some ice tea and some crackers. This homeless guy came up to me and said; “Father, do you have two bucks” and pointed to a sign on the store that said “two bucks two dogs” I pulled two bucks out of my wallet and said to homeless guy; “this two dollars just came out of the offering plate it is God’s money, if your lying to me and go in there and buy beer, God will strike you down dead.” He looked at me a second and said; “do you have any of your own money.”

 

 

A week later my wife and I were in a restaurant having lunch, (again wearing the all black and priest collar) it was summer in south Texas, hot and humid, my wife was wearing a rather short skirt and a top with very thin straps. Two old blue haired ladies were sitting at the table next to us and they kept staring at us with very disapproving stares. I got up to go to the restroom and when I back my wife leaned over and whispered in my ear; “they think I’m a hooker out to rob your virtue.” I grabbed by the shoulders and kissed her long and passionately, handed her a twenty and said; “you were great, here’s cab money.” I got up and walked up to the cashier while my wife reapplied her lipstick, she got up and in her best gum chewing Bronx accent with a bra lift and a shrug looked at the two blue hairs and said; “well I guess it’s time for confession.” We walked out with straight faces to the car and then lost it laughing.

 

Yes, there is a funny side to the ministry.

 

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: