the long haul

June 15, 2016

Senior Couple At Home

Benefits, plus benefits, plus benefits.

No it’s not a $9.95 special it’s a hard earned fact.

You cannot have the benefit, the joy, the treasure, bliss, satisfaction that a couple has that has unless you have learned to weather the storms of life.

To many couples have bailed out of their marriage at the earliest inconvenience, one storm, one trial, one screw up and bang the marriage is over. But look at a couple married 30, 40, 50 years, it’s getting rarer; but the couple that have proved and improved their marriage have a treasure that is priceless.

Trust me as a pastor and marriage counselor I’ve seen just about all the high jinx that couples pull; we divorced they say because we were not compatible, socially or financially different, they lied about their sexual history, one got fat, menopause, lack of sex, bad sex, farting, belching, didn’t go to church enough, wouldn’t tithe. The list is endless.

Yes, I could have told most couples to not marry, but hey once the sex starts, the horse is out of the barn.

But my wife and I can’t tell you how many people come up to us (total strangers) and either ask “how long” or “are you having an affair” or “what’s your secret”.

Most assume it’s our second or third marriage because we kiss to much or hold hands or we talk during meals; hey who talks to their spouse?

Don’t misunderstand we’ve had our trials, being the pastor of a mega church and radio and tv shows, the notoriety of semi fame. I’ve had groupies, fan clubs, stalkers (several). My wife has had to put up with letters, stalkers, gifts on the porch, women literally stripping off their clothes in my office ( in spite of the window open to my foyer and secretary).

Being of the Pentecostal persuasion for many years my wife has had women come up to her and “prophesize” her death and how these women would take good care of me.

And let’s not forget all my glaring faults on top of all this. But what we have is rooted, deep, passionate and a blessing. I still look at her and wonder how this beautiful woman ever stayed around. We are great as a team, we bless each other, we are best friends, we’ve developed great interests in each other and want to be with each other. We don’t take separate vacations or time outs. We are just as romantic as ever. I still give her flowers once a month, I cook often, we help with chores around the ranch, we literally kiss about two dozen times just before 9am. (really). Even just walking around the yard in the middle of nowhere we hold hands. We kiss in restaurants and hold hands.

We are blessed but we went down a long bumpy road at times, the early years of our marriage we were penniless, broke, I sometimes worked three jobs at a time and still couldn’t pay the rent. I had to tell a doctor that I would have to pay him a dollar a week to pay the bill or I could come by and chop wood or paint his house in order to pay his bill. We’ve prayed over our kids when we thought they would die before we could get them to a hospital. I stole yield signs to weld into our car floorboards to keep the snow from coming in the bottom of the car. There where years that if it wasn’t for my wife’s garden and canning and what I shot for dinner we would have not eaten.

I wouldn’t want to relive any of those years but the blessing of waiting, caring, blessing. My wife was bedridden for 13 months. I’ve been flat on my back for months from surgery. We never said it’s to hard or I’m walking out.

The gold in a marriage comes from hard work, fire and floods, theft and sleepless nights, children that broke your heart.

Hang on, wait it out, seek counseling. And don’t listen to relatives, friends or religious nut jobs. Your vows said to death do we part, for better or worse.

God bless from

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