hog wild

September 24, 2016

Image result for wild texas pigs

Well here’s how my Friday went; promise you won’t laugh at least not too hard.

So I came home and first thing I did was to let the dogs out of the kennel, and as usual two went west and two went east to circle around to the front of the house. They know that out front is a feed box for the deer and a water tank for the deer and other animals out there.

As I came around the west side of the house I noticed my Belgium Malinois was in her standing scout position and was emitting a low growl. I crept up to the side of the house and drew my Texas bond defender, which is a two shot derringer carrying two 410 shot shells. I use the Hornady defender which is a soft lead slug with four or five lead discs some in front someone back. It’s a very potent load.

As I peeked out around the corner there in the front yard on the inside of the property was about a 400 pound Hog, wild and very mean. I cocked back the hammer on the pistol, aimed for just below his right ear and pulled the trigger. That hog went down like a sledgehammer had hit him in the head.

So I got the tractor and some chains and was driving out to pickup the hog and decided I would fix the fence first and then drag the hog out the back gate. Trying to round up the dogs and put them back in the kennel which is proving to be an exercise in futility as they were excited by the smell of blood and a dead pig.

I quickly pulled some large zip ties out of my pocket and fixed the fence and went over to the dead hog to wrap a chain around its back legs. So there I am with the tractor running, the dogs watching and snapping at the hog and I’ve got a hog by the back left leg and all of a sudden he decides he’s not dead and begins to get up and take off. This is the really important part of the story I forgot to let go.

So here I am being dragged across my own yard by a 400 pound pig being chased by four dogs that also total about 400 pounds of very excited dogs, and I still haven’t let go. Well as I hear the buttons ripping off my shirt and getting a face full of dirt I finally let go and come to a kneeling position redraw my pistol pulled back the hammer and that’s when I got hit from behind by four dogs after me and the pig. Well the gun went off and shot the pig right up the butt that pig did a somersault rearend  first overhead and the momentum from the dogs carried me onto the pig and the next thing you know I’m wrestling with four dogs and a dead pig. Right here is where I take my first whack to the head on a large rock and it’s like somebody’s clocked me in the head at a Golden gloves bout. I’m trying to make sure that when the dogs bite down it ain’t on me.

Well eventually I fell out of the pack and I’m laying there thinking okay I’m all right and I stand up and must’ve been the excitement because I fell right over bang my head on the same rock a second time and temporarily knocked myself out for about two seconds and yes just like the Road Runner cartoon I saw stars, little planets whirling around my head. Now  I get up on all fours kinds angry and I’m grabbing the dogs and dragging them into the kennel. I finally get them all corralled go back get the tractor wrap a chain around that pig’s leg and I’m dragging it out across the yard and I’m looking behind me to make sure that I have the chain securely fastened around the pigs leg. And that’s when I went under a low hanging branch on a live oak tree and caught myself square in the fore head and knocked myself off the tractor. Well I knock the wind out of myself and fortunately the tractor has a dead man switch and it stops.

Now this is the religious part of the story, I try my hardest not to swear or cuss but I have to confess at that moment when I came to I did a whole lot of swearing and a whole Lotta cussing; I pulled out my Mel Pardue four and ½ inch combat tactical knife and the start stabbing the pig out of my frustration. And that’s when my wife walked around the corner of the house and sees me covered in blood and stabbing a pig and cussing like a crazy man. And after being married to me 42 years she did the most sensible thing and turned on the garden hose and started hosing me down.

So that’s how my Friday went hope your Friday went a little bit more uneventful and not so dramatic God bless.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com (deep in the heart of Texas).

2 Responses to “hog wild”

  1. steveknife said

    Sounds like a page out of my book!

  2. thankfully today was calm and quiet, even the dogs were bored, blessings

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