what the hell

July 6, 2017

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

WE INTERRUPT THIS REGULAR SCHEDULE BROADCAST FOR THIS EMERGENCY BROADCAST.

REMEMBER THAT SOUND ON THE RADIO, ANNOYING ISN’T IT, WELL THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DEVOTIONAL.

I RECEIVED AN EMAIL ON SCUMLIKEUSCHURCH@GMAIL.COM THAT WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT TOPIC THAT I FELT IT MUST BE COVERED HERE RIGHT NOW.

FIRST LET ME SAY THIS, REMEMBER A FEW DEVOTIONALS BACK WHEN I MENTIONED THE SHORT LIST VERSUS THE LONG LIST AND THAT ONE WAS WORTH FIGHTING OVER, WELL I JUST ADDED ONE MORE ITEM TO THE SHORT LIST AND SERIOUSLY I WILL FIGHT OVER THIS ONE.

NOW YOU NEED TO KNOW A LITTLE EXTRA ABOUT ME SO I CAN PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO YOU, I’VE BEEN SHOT ONCE, STABBED TWICE AND LITERALLY SCALPED WITH A CROWBAR. I’VE BEEN IN 3 CONFRONTATIONS THAT COULD HAVE ENDED IN MY DEATH BESIDES THE ONES MENTIONED ABOVE.

SO MY POINT, I THINK VIOLENCE HAS A VALID POINT TO CONVINCING SOMEONE I’M SERIOUS. I KNOW ALL YOU SUGAR CONE CHRISTIANS ARE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH AND TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND HARMONY BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAS ME ALL WORKED UP.

BACK TO THE EMAIL, SO BASICALLY IT GOES LIKE THIS, “PASTOR, I WAS JUST AT A BIBLE STUDY AND WAS TOLD THAT I WAS POSSESSED BY AN UNCLEAN SPIRIT AND THAT IT NEEDED TO BE DEALT WITH AND THEY PRAYED IT OUT OF ME.”

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEE, (RAGE, IF YOU HAVE DYSLEXIA)

THIS IS A CHRISTIAN PERSON BEING TOLD BY A CHRISTIAN LEADER THAT CHRISTIANS CAN BE POSSESSED.

FIRST LET ME START WITH THIS BIBLE VERSE AND ITS ONE YOU LIKELY WON’T BE THINKING OF STARTING WITH. THE APOSTLE PAUL SAYS; “WE ARE TO MARK THOSE WHO DISTORT THE TRUTHS OF THE BIBLE.” THE WORD “MARK” IN GREEK LITERALLY MEANS TO PUNCH OR STRIKE SOMEONE IN THE FACE SO THAT THEY ARE BRUISED AND PEOPLE CAN SEE IT AND KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

WAY TO GO APOSTLE PAUL, YOUR SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE, IF I RAN INTO A CHRISTIAN LEADER, PASTOR, ETC AND HEARD THIS KIND OF THING COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTH, I WOULD WARN THEM TO STOP VERY STRONGLY WARN THEM TO STOP.

I ONCE HAD A HUSBAND WHO WAS BEATING HIS BLIND WIFE, I WENT TO HIS HOUSE AND WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR I PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE, AND THEN SAID TO HIM, “YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU, WELL NEITHER DOES SHE.” THEY HAVE NOW BEEN MARRIED 55 YEARS AND THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANOTHER ACT OF VIOLENCE, AND HE COMES TO CHURCH ON A REGULAR BASIS. SO MAYBE A PUNCH IN THE NOSE REALLY WORKS.

WELL LETS PRETEND I’M REALLY SPIRITUAL AND REAL MATURE AND HANDLE IT LIKE A REGULAR, NORMAL PASTOR (YOU CAN’T HEAR THIS BUT I’M LAUGHING MY A$$ OFF RIGHT NOW, ME NORMAL, STOP IT YOUR KILLING ME.)

SO BIBLE VERSES TO HELP

 2 Corinthians 1:22-23

New English Translation (NET)

22 who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a down payment

 

Ephesians 1:13

New English Translation (NET)

13 And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)—when you believed in Christ—you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit,

 

Ephesians 4:30

New English Translation (NET)

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A CHRISTIAN TO BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT, SEALED FOR CHRIST, MARKED FOR CHRIST, AND TO BE POSSESSED BY ANY OTHER EVIL OR DEMONIC SPIRIT.

WE ARE ONLY CAPABLE AS A VESSEL DEDICATED TO GOD TO BE ENTERED INTO BY THE HOLY SPIRIT, NONE OTHER SPIRIT THAT IS EVIL CAN ENTER INTO US. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THIS NUT JOBS SAY, THEY WILL TYPICALLY USE THE FOLLOWING TWISTED LOGIC; “WELL YOU MUST HAVE USED A OUIJAS BOARD BEFORE YOU GOT SAVED AND THAT’S’ HOW IT GOT IN, OR YOU READ HOROSCOPES, OR SAW A MEDIUM OR MESSED WITH BLACK MAGIC; AND WHEN YOU GOT SAVED THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS OTHER SPIRIT AND THAT’S WHY YOU ARE HAVING THESE PROBLEMS.”

REALLY, ANOTHER CONFESSION, (OH DEAR) I WAS IN A BLACK SATANIC CULT, DRANK URINE, HAD HOLY WAFERS OF COMMUNION SPREAD WITH MENSTRUAL BLOOD, DID ALL THE WEIRD SEX, MAGIC BULLSH!T. AND I CAN TELL YOU WHEN I GOT SAVED, BORN AGAIN, BLOOD WASHED, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT THERE WAS NO PROBLEM WITH BEING 100% FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LIVING IN ME BESIDES THE SPIRIT OF GOD AND THE STUPID PART OF ME THAT TRIPS ME UP MORE THAN I LIKE.

SO WATCH OUT,, SPEAK SUCH LIES IN FRONT OF ME AND I MAY NOT BE VERY PASTORAL. 

SORRY IF YOUR OFFENDED BY MY CARNAL ANGER AND TALK OF VIOLENCE, BUT REALLY IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE LYING, DEGRADING, CHURCH LEADERS I WILL CALL YOU OUT TO FACE THE MUSIC.

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