shouldn’t we be better?

August 12, 2017

I meant to ask…how’s that constant state of self-criticism going? Not like you don’t get enough of it from your boss. It helped that your parents used humiliation tactics to discipline you and your siblings. Mother does know best—you can’t do anything right.

You always were insignificant. No wonder kids teased you in grade school, and why they always chose you last in P.E. My favorite: the time you peed your pants in first grade near the end of recess, and you had to walk down the hall with wet pants to the restroom in front of all those laughing finger-pointing fifth graders. Poor thing. Since then, you can’t shake the sense that you possess a fundamental flaw.

If it had ended in grade school, one could chalk it up to kids being mean. But what do you make of those unkind words people say about you even now? Of course, you have no proof. But the whispers and giggles from co-workers who stop talking the moment you approach speak for themselves. Those bits of gossip make you stew for hours at home, thinking about what you’ll say the next time you see them. (Who needs school bullies when you can bully yourself?) You could also employ character assassination—works for politicians.

Now don’t worry. I know you think anger will damage you more than anything else. Not true. Shame will. Why else do you think you partied so much in college? I never understood why you humans try so hard to make people like you. In my opinion, you are pretty easy to influence. Consider Adam and Eve. But like all praise whores, your self-worth depends on outside validation. Ironic. Because despite all your commendable religious, educational, and professional achievements your pain refuses to depart. Hey, I’m not complaining. I dig your shallow Christianity. My advice? Keep busting your tail to look competent and acceptable. Forget God’s message of grace. Through success and works your shame may actually disappear for a while—just long enough for you to think it’s working.

I get it. Your past so injured your developing psyche that it permeates your view of yourself today. That’s my job—to keep reminding you of things you’d like to forget. Because that’s what keeps you hiding your true self from your spouse, friends, and my favorite—your church. We both know if your church knew the real you they’d kick you out faster than a divorced woman. So maintain that impenetrable fortress around your heart. Avoid intimate relationships. (Except the codependent ones.)

They say the first step to healing is talking about your pain. I’ll spare you the humiliation by making sure that never happens. Anyway, Christians are discouraged from exhibiting even a hint of struggle. Besides, you lack exposure to the types of things that will set you free: God’s love and compassion. You wouldn’t recognize if it punched you square in the face. So let’s keep it all locked safely inside you where no one can touch it

how is it that Christians, who have the unsearchable riches (Ephesians), fullness of the Holy Spirit (Acts), the Love of God (John), Godly wisdom (Corinthians) and the full Revelation of Christ, just plain suck at having any positive thing to say about themselves?

we have all probably said; “we don’t need the devil when I have myself.”

I know there are some people with shame issues and low self-worth that can’t read their bibles because the parts that paint the worst pictures they apply to themselves.

but the Lord has given us wonderful freedom to realize we are each unique, and each of us has a design and purpose only we can fill. so stop the the self-flagellation and tearing yourself apart and celebrate yourself. God has given us freedom, not chains.

I know this sounds all touchy feeling, but give yourself a gift today and tell someone you love them and let some one tell you that you are loved.

ok, that’s about as mushy as I can get, I’m pulling out my Popular Mechanics Magazine and some power tools.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: