HANG OUT THE WASH

July 6, 2018

The secret things, the “dirty” things, the shameful things; the smut, the dirt; the porn, the “secret sin”; nasty things, the sexual abuse, those things stained my soul because they weren’t talked about for so many years and made me feel shameful, broken, like something was wrong.

Yes, I’m forgiven, it’s under the blood, I’m washed white as snow. But like any normal person I wish had not done them; the LSD, the pot, the booze, satanic rituals, biker initiations, the violence, the denial; just a long period of bad stuff, stupid stuff.

It took a long time to find the right persons to unload all that crap on over several years and they never condemned or scolded. It’s important that you unload the burdens, hang out the wash. Find a support group, find a biblical counselor, not some hippy dippy shrink that won’t do you a bit of good.

The reason I’m writing this today is I was in a restaurant and I heard a country western song and a particular phrase totally caught me off guard and I was flooded with memories, dirty rotten memories. It took me a minute (literally) to shut it off and get out my bible and reaffirm my sanity.

But here’s my take; if you never have felt unsaved for a moment than you’ve never been saved for a moment.

Guilt is part of the package, it’s to remind us of the price paid for our redemption.

“These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1 John 5:13

It’s why we are called sinners and need a Savior, it’s why the word ‘saints’ only applies to a group and not a individual.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

ONLY THE RIGHT WAY

June 24, 2018

OK, WORDPRESS IS ACTING WEIRD AND THIS MAY GET POSTED TWICE IN ONE DAY.

WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS ADULT SEXUAL LANGUAGE OF A VERY FRANK NATURE, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED OR LEGALISTIC

THE APOSTLE PAUL SAID THERE ARE THINGS SO SHAMEFUL WE SHOULD NOT TALK ABOUT THEM. I DON’T THINK I’VE CROSSED THAT LINE BUT IT MAY BE CLOSE. I MEAN NO HARM AND DON’T WANT TO OFFEND SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

FIRST A QUOTE FROM A MOVIE, IT’S NOT FROM THE BIBLE BUT IT WILL KICK OFF THE DISCUSSION. ‘YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE POWER OF LOVE UNTIL YOU COMPLETELY SURRENDER TO IT.’ (I DON’T REMEMBER THE MOVIE BUT IT’S STILL A GOOD LINE)

WOMEN HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE BY GIVING BIRTH, MEN HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE BEAUTIFUL WIVES WHO ARE FULFILLED AND HAPPY BY BEING MEN WHO LOVE THEIR WIVES MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS EARTH.

SO HERE’S WHERE WE GET INTO A SENSITIVE AREA, SEX; IF YOU WANT TO BLESS YOUR WIFE PRACTICE GODLY SEX.  THAT MEANS NOT FORCING YOUR WIFE TO HAVE SEX WHILE ON HER PERIOD ( BECAUSE YOU THINK SHE HAS TO SUBMIT AND THIS PROVES SHE’S A GODLY WOMAN) REALLY, IF YOU ARE THAT KIND OF HUSBAND AND YOU WERE STANDING HERE IN FRONT OF ME I’D PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. (GODLY COUNSELING DOESN’T SEEM TO WORK )

ONE THE BIBLE SAYS YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX DURING THIS TIME. HEY HOW ABOUT THAT, GOD KNOWS WHAT SCIENCE HAS PROVED. THE UTERINE WALLS OF A WOMAN ARE WEAKER DURING THIS TIME AND IT CAN CAUSE PROBLEMS. AND REALLY YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOUR WIFE TO PROVE SHE’S SUBMISSIVE, THAT ONE IS GOING TO BACK FIRE IN YOUR FACE.

PLEASE DON’T READ ANY FARTHER IF YOU ARE REALLY SENSITIVE.

ANAL SEX, IT’S WRONG, DON’T CARE WHAT SEX IN CITY SAYS, SEX BOOKS, PORN, ITS WRONG, IT GOES AGAINST BIOLOGY AND IT GOES AGAINST THE BIBLE; I DON’T CARE IF YOUR PARTNER EVEN LIKES IT; GOD IS STILL GOD EVEN IN THE BEDROOM. YES YOU CAN PRACTICE HOLINESS EVEN IN THE MARRIAGE BED AND THE BIBLE DOES NOT SAY THE MARRIAGE BED IS UNDEFILED AND ANYTHING GOES. IT SAYS WE ARE TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE BED UNDEFILED. GOD DOES NOT CONDONE ‘FREAKINESS’ IN THE BEDROOM OF A CHRISTIAN COUPLE.

I BRING THIS UP BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THE DAMAGE THIS ATTITUDE AND THE DAMAGE IT CAN WREAK IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.

A WOMAN WAS BEING ABUSED BY THE ABOVE IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. THE MAN DIDN’T RESPOND TO COUNSELING. SO SHE DECIDED TO POISON HIM. NOT TO DEATH JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM SICK TO HIS STOMACH AND HE WOULDN’T FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX AND SHE WOULD BE SAFE AND SOUND.

THE AMOUNT OF GUILT SHE RACKED UP WAS GIVING HER MIGRAINES, EVENTUALLY SHE INSISTED THEY GO BACK TO COUNSELING AND UNDER THE THREAT OF DIVORCE AND OTHER THINGS LIKE HER FAMILY HUNTING HIM DOWN. CONVINCED THIS MAN TO STOP ABUSING HER. AFTER SIX YEARS OF COUNSELING AND BEING SUBMISSIVE TO THE PASTOR, HE STRAIGHTENED UP.

I’M HAPPY TO SAY THEY ARE STILL MARRIED, AND HE DID STOP, BUT HOW CAN CHRISTIAN MEN BE SO WRONG, AND YET BELIEVE THEY ARE SERVING THE LORD AND DOING NO HARM. IT’S A LIE AND THUS THE DEVOTION FOR TODAY MAY BE UNPLEASANT AND EVEN MAKE SOME MEN ANGRY, YET IT IS NEEDED IN OUR VERY POLLUTED CHRISTIAN HOMES AND MARRIAGES.

REMEMBER MEN, THE APOSTLE PAUL ALSO SAID WE ARE TO SUBMIT TO OUR WIVES AS WELL; PLEASE BE GODLY MEN, EVEN IN THE BEDROOM.

GOD BLESS. From scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

S.O.S.

May 30, 2018

For some reason today, suicide was the hot topic. Not because everyone was watching 13 reasons why. But because the suicide rate is highest among seniors than any other age group.

For the Christian, it is essential to understand several things regarding suicide:

(1) Suicide is sin. God forbids murder (Exodus 20:13) and taking one’s own life is murder. It is also sin because it fails to take into account the assurances of God’s grace and mercy, of the compassionate High Priesthood of our Lord Jesus, and because it believes that there is no way out, but to sin. None of these are true. Taking one’s life is to disobey God, and disobedience is sin. Suicide is also sin because it causes great suffering for those we leave behind.  Suicide does not serve others for their good.

(2) While suicide is sin, it is not the unpardonable sin. (if the attempt fails) The only unpardonable sin is attributing the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit in Jesus to Satan (Mark 3:20-30).

(3) While suicide is sin, it is easier to understand why a Christian would consider suicide than it is to grasp why an unbeliever would do so.  At best, the unbeliever who commits suicide enters into an uncertain future.  Little do they know that the are actually entering into a state of eternal separation from from God.  Knowing the glorious future that awaits the Christian, a believer might reason that it is better to escape the trials and tribulations of this life and enter into eternal joy in the presence of our Lord.  This is not to understate how tragic this choice is, or how destructive it is to one’s testimony, and to one’s claim that God’s provisions are sufficient for our every need. But the Christian is assured of going to heaven when they die (even if that be by suicide). When one is overcome by depression and is not thinking clearly, suicide may appear to be the only way out.

(4) There were genuine believers in the Bible who wanted to die, men like Elijah and Job, but the Scriptures that describe these men’s despair and suicidal desires make it clear that they were wrong. Later events make it clear that “bailing out of life” would have been a very bad choice.

(5) God sometimes brings us to a point of total despair and frustration so that we will give up trying to live this life in our own strength and cast ourselves wholly upon Christ.

After decades of crisis counseling and standing with parents as their young teens were brought from the brink of death by a suicidal attempt. I’ve reached one opinion. Every single kid was glad they didn’t die.

Suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, it reflects a person consumed only with their own feelings and thoughts. It doesn’t “solve” anything.

My advice is tell the secret, come out of the closet, share what’s going through your mind, tell your wife you got aids, from that 20 dollar hooker, do the prison time. Whatever. Just get over you being the most important person in the world.

On a happier note our bible winner was actually brother and sister from Ecuador. And since we had two matching bible and a great phone call with some new friends of scumlikeuschurch. We are happy to announce that Birdy and Lollei are now even bigger friends.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

A new prayer.

I’m always amazed at how the Holy Spirit can lead you into new things. Pathways, people, projects.

How a bible verse you’ve read hundreds of times before, now seems more significant or casts a different light.

Or a new thought turns your prayers into something else. For example, I’ve probably prayed many variations of this thought, but never in this way, with these words; “Lord, I pray that sin is rarely found acting out in me.”

For some reason this twist of thought, this prayer has stayed with me all day. Am I a frequent sinner? Some days are better than others. How about, do I sin on purpose? Yes I do.

We’ve all had the accidental sin, the “light” sin. But how about the days when we plan on it. we wait for the opportunity, the resources, the timing and when all is aligned like a horoscope of sinfulness, we cast our die and willfully, purposely sin a ‘big’ sin.

Well you say that doesn’t happen to often. Maybe not. But you must realize that when we sin the ‘big’ sin. There is more we have to do to restore spiritual harmony. We have grieved the Holy Spirit more grievously, therefore our repentance must be more sincere, more thought out, more down time on our knees.

It’s the difference between telling your wife your sorry or needing to buy flowers.

It’s the difference between telling God, “whoops” and lying on your face breathing dirt in your mouth sorrow.

So, Lord, I pray that there is less sin, and rarely acted out in my life sinfulness.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

WARNING ADULT CONTENT=FRANK DISCUSSION ON SEX

MEDICALLY INDUCED SEXUALITY

SHORT VERSION, I’M AGAINST IT.

THE UNINGREDIBLE MR. LIMPET

So, in my many pastoral roles as psychologist, sex therapist, sex addiction counselor, marriage and family counselor, violent sex offender counselor and victim therapist, prison chaplain, plus my varied checkered past. I have heard, seen, and witnessed every good and deviant sex act.

So first an assumption. You are married, your wife has gone through menopause, you’re over 55 years old, and you have been married to each other a long time.

Long is a relative term. You’ve had a good marriage, you are friends, pals, partners and you have figured out the yin and yang of the marriage. You have not defiled your marriage, no affairs, no porn, no sex toys and you are Christians.

If you don’t fall into these categories, go read the comics or file it away for a rainy day.

If you need medicine in order to have sex or have the drive, then I would advise it is time to put the horse in the barn and leave it there.

Concentrate on all the other areas of marriage enrichment. Non sexual intimacy, cuddling, conversation, communication, sharing and enjoying the discovery of your God given mate.

After 44 years of marriage, my wife still surprises me, like a diamond, there always seems to be a new facet to her personality. We are still learning who we are.

I bring this topic up because if you don’t prepare for this stage of marriage. And if your marriage was based on sex. Then good luck on having a pleasant time. And especially you men. You were only a sex god in your own mind. The emotional needs of your wife have grown more not less.

so here’s to reality, and don’t believe all the ‘studies’ of those over 60 that say it’s the best sex of their life. Mr. Limpet it’s not possible. Notice there are no bible verses in this devotion. It’s only an opinion, everybody has one.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

DEAD MAN WALKING

April 11, 2018

  “Reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin” (Rom. 6:11a).

  All of the cults, from TM to ST to SDA, to Joel Osteen, to hypnosis, are simply self-improvement aberrations. The Cross alone provides death to self and life in the Lord Jesus Christ. “God forbid that I should glory, except in the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world” (Gal. 6:14).

 What becomes us now is to have the Lord Jesus before us, and not the correction of the old man. The snare of trying to improve oneself is very common, and it is important to see, that however well-meaning it may be, it is really a denial that our old man has been crucified, and a revival of that which has been judged in the death of the Cross.

 It is plain that if you are clear of the domination of the old man you can have no man before you but the Lord Jesus, and the more sensible you are of how ready the flesh is to intrude.

  God never means me to be able, with the Pharisee, to thank Him for the goodness that I find in myself. If I will be at it, He leaves me to find in this irreparable flesh, which cannot be mended, what I may break my heart over, but never alter.

 It is a quicksand which spoils all my building—a morass impracticable to cultivation; and God uses this, in His sovereignty over evil, to wean me from self-confidence and self-complacency, and self-improvement and to cast me upon Himself.

  “Likewise, reckon ye also yourselves to be. . . alive unto God through Jesus Christ, our Lord” (Rom. 6:11b).

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Lauren, so far her commitment to celibacy has been strong and much has improved in her life.

Pray for students on college campuses that are being expelled, harassed and silenced, to their commitment to Christ and a conservative agenda.

Pray for sanity for our Country, that the insanity of diversity and inclusiveness is outed for the lie it represents.

Pray for Courtney, married, 2 kids, late 30’s, she has been walking on the edge of her marriage vows, a flirt, a tease, up to now she’s never crossed the line. But last night only a chanced friend (the Lord) crossed her path and in embarrassment, she bailed on stepping out.

 

Jesus is the Rock

March 18, 2018

“The Show Must Go On” (by Freddie Mercury (Queen)

Empty spaces – what are we living for
Abandoned places – I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for…
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I’m learning, I must be warmer now
I’ll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I’m aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly – my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I’ll face it with a grin
I’m never giving in
On – with the show –
I’ll top the bill, I’ll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the –
On with the show –
The show must go on…

Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of the rock group Queen, who died at the end of 1991, he wrote in one of his last songs on The Miracle album, “Does anybody know what we are living for?” In spite of the fact that he had amassed a huge fortune and had attracted thousands of fans, he admitted in an interview shortly before his death that he was desperately lonely. He said, “You can have everything in the world and still be the loneliest man, and that is the most bitter type of loneliness. Success has brought me world idolization and millions of pounds, but it’s prevented me from having the one thing we all need—a loving, ongoing relationship.”

Jesus Christ said I am the way, and the truth, the only perfect ongoing relation you can have that will satisfy your heart and mind is to be in a relationship with Him.

Trust me, you name it I’ve done it, sex, drugs, violence, kinky, weird, satanic, outlaw gangs, booze, the list goes on, and a list of things that will never be listed, the Apostle Paul said there are things so shameful they should not be spoken of, well I have done a few on that list as well. Yet Jesus Christ, the very Son of God, still said He loved me and reached out to me and forgave all my sins; you can’t be to bad for Jesus. That hole in your life can only be filled by having Christ as your personal Savior. Another great old song; “Rolled away” all the burdens of my sin rolled away.

Rolled away, rolled away, rolled away

Every burden on my heart rolled away

Rolled away, rolled away, rolled away

Every burden on my heart rolled away

All my sin had to go, ‘Neath the crimson flow..

Rolled away, rolled away, rolled away

Every burden on my heart rolled away

If you need something in your life that Freddie Mercury never found, and you have questions feel free to email me at scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com. It’s never to late and you can be forgiven anything.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

.

Pray for Chrissy M. she’s the prodigal daughter, pray for her return and for her to escape the crowd that draws her back into sin.

Pray for Sky P, 53, a female Freddie Mercury, has made millions, now has Aids, and has been ejected by her former so called friends

answer the call

March 14, 2018

On my business card, it mentions all the counseling services I offer.

Sex Addictions

Anger Management

Drug and Alcohol Addictions

Marriage Counseling

Family Counseling

Biblical Counseling

Psychological Testing

Expert Court Witness (Sex offenders and Counseling)

Plethysmograph or SAST (Sexual Addiction Testing)

(yes it fits on a business card-Duofold)

Here’s the interesting part, when I hand the card to a woman, 80% of the time she’s going to say, “oh could you test my husband?”

For what I don’t know.

When I hand the card to a man 80% of the time he says, “could you fix my wife?”

Again for what?

10% of the time someone will say “oh my God, can you help me!”

5% will say, “ah, I’ve never needed counseling.”

And the last 5% will say something not listed on the card and usually weirder than what I can think of. Which in my line of work that is a surprise!

For a few years, I did cult abductions and deprogramming, more dangerous than high-risk warrant serving.

Yes, I have done a few exorcisms.

Had a face off, square off, whatever you want to call with a witch doctor.

I always leave my card with a tip in it at restaurants. The number of “over the phone can you fix me anonymously calls is interesting.”

If I remember, tomorrow I will tell you of the millionaire sex addict that wanted “help” over the phone, but to famous to risk coming in to my office.

So if you are looking for a career in the bizarre, become a counselor or psychologist.

Most rewarding? Maybe trauma counseling for surviving police officers of shootings or fatal encounters.(This was before we had the term ‘PTSD’).

Anyway, always say yes to people that God brings into your life when you are a minister. You will never be bored or rich for that matter, but you will feel blessed.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

I really can change (part two)

Because each person is unique, God’s formative process is unique for each. And though the Spirit of God is the One who transforms souls, each individual has personal responsibility in the process. Many spiritual disciplines can contribute, yet God is primarily concerned with transforming the whole person, not just patterns of behavior. For this reason, no one method (be it a traditional spiritual discipline or another method) is the single critical component.

To understand our need for transformation, we must understand who we are currently, both as individuals and as members of the body of Christ. Who we are has undoubtedly been shaped by our past. Therefore, we explore various aspects of our identity, such as our heritage and temperament. What do these tell us about who we are and what we value? The interaction during this study bonds us and builds trust among us. Our goal is not to analyze, criticize, or control each other, but it is to grow and affirm what God is doing in and through one another.

In Identity, we ultimately want group members to see themselves in light of their identity in Christ. However, many of the values we actually live out stem from such influences as temperament, family background, and culture. Not all of those values are contrary to our new identity in Christ. For example, the value one person places on honesty, which he learned from his parents, is affirmed by his identity in Christ.

It can take a long time––more than a lifetime allows––for the Spirit of God to transform our values to line up with our new identity in Christ. We cooperate with the Spirit when we reflect on what our values are and how well they line up with our identity in Christ as described in Scripture.

One of the most significant characteristics of our identity in Christ is that we are now part of the body of Christ. The Christian life cannot be lived in isolation.

(I want to say this to all the door kickers, snake eaters, LEO’s and others, in the call of duty you may have “seen the elephant,” combat, war, taking a life. It is never an easy thing to live with. Isolation and “manning-up” doing it solo, is not the answer. Find a support group, talk it out, find other veteran’s, retired cops, talk it out). And Jesus love even you.

In order to experience intimate community in the biblical sense, we must learn to reveal ourselves to others. We need to honestly, freely, and thoughtfully tell our stories. Our modern culture makes it easy for people to live isolated and anonymous lives. Because we and others move frequently, we may feel it’s not worth the effort to be vulnerable in shortlived relationships. However, we desperately need to keep intentionally investing in significant relationships.

Real involvement in others’ lives requires more than what the term fellowship has too often come to mean. Real involvement includes holding certain values in common and practicing a lifestyle we believe is noble, while appreciating that this lifestyle doesn’t make us perfect. Rather, this lifestyle is a commitment to let God continue to spiritually form us.

Share your stories, the good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t get a good reaction when you’re candid, find another group, talk to the pastor, your counselor, mentor, sober companion. But you will only find healing in the community of others who have made it through and out the other side. And it is a continuous daily struggle and renewal. One time isn’t enough, it’s not ‘one and done’ it takes being will to share.

Well that’s it for today.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

EVIL WALKS

December 31, 2017

Long ago I had the duty of serving as an expert witness in trials. I did this for about 8 years. I was appointed by the court to observe, counsel and report to the court about men coming up for parole that were violent sexual predators. I was for the prosecution side of the court.

I had a good relationship with each prisoner, I was honest and forthright with them about my role and that they could volunteer or not to have 8 sessions of counseling individually and 6 group therapy sessions. Again voluntary.

I would interview the families of each man and also their victims and inform them of when the parole hearing would take place.

I was warned one day by a bailiff that this one particular judge hated Christians and I should leave out any “faith talk”.

So I thought I was doing a good job, I almost always recommend that the prisoner be remanded to a special lock down facility that specialized in counseling sex offenders, that used everything from chemical castration to some very special equipment like a sexual arousal lie detector. (that’s the layman’s interpretation). It could prove with very accurate degree if the prisoner was really making progress.

I had one prisoner that I recommend a very long sentence and no chance of parole as I felt this man was the very embodiment of evil.

Well I was warned by the judge that evil was a religious term and not to be used in his courtroom. Well after 20 minutes and 200 dollars in contempt of court I was ordered to county jail for 3 days if I persisted.

Both lawyers saw this as all going to hell in a handbasket, I was declared a hostile witness and ejected from the court, minus the 200 dollars but no jail time.

A year later I had the misfortune of entering this judge’s court and as soon as I walked in he went haywire. Ordered me to his chambers and there I found out (duh) never witness to a judge and tell him he’s unsaved. Now with an even lighter wallet. I decided that expert witness in sex trials was no longer my calling.

However, be that as I may be, Evil is a legal, technical term and can now be used in many courts 20 years later. Because the court has reached a new decision, they can’t explain the horrible things people do to each other without saying it’s evil.

A small victory, but still a victory.

I will never go back into counseling sex addicts, deviants, miscreants and the morally reprehensible again. But they are out there.

I’m not really sure how I want to end this devotion but be paranoid, don’t get drunk, don’t go to places you shouldn’t go and just plain behave. Don’t’ become a victim of evil.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com