It’s the mid-80’s, I just met a man with deep pockets and a big heart, great Christian guy. He’s just sold his company for piles of money and is looking for a big Christian endeavor.

Viola, here’s where I come in.

So we buy land and put in cabins, for wives’ and children who are victims of domestic abuse or sexual offenders. There’s no sign and a guard gate, no one is allowed in unless escorted by the sheriff’s department, not even myself.

The second parcel of land is bought, also very private and we build a small prison system, it can only hold 24 inmates. They either volunteer to go there or are remanded into our custody by the court. They sign a civil rights waiver in front of a judge and we escort them ourselves.

They are repeat or violent sex offenders. We’ve been given a four year grant by the county to see if we can “fix” sex offenders. (spoil alert, 99% of the time you can’t).

We can do chemical castration (which we quit 120 days into the program). Electric shock and or pharmaceutical intervention.

So here’s tip number one. As a Christian psychologist, be prepared to see a depraved, and or demonic inmate or both.

Number two, there are no excuses, doesn’t matter what daddy or uncle Billy did to you as a child.

Number three, no retelling of your crime in group therapy.

Number four, you better stay prayed up and leading the most exemplary life when the legal system or demonic host (there both the same) comes after you.

There’s a lot more but we will quit there.

Oh, yeah, we had to buy several straight jackets.

We will call him Bob, he spends 250k that’s right 250,000.00 per year on sex, drugs, hookers and hospitals and plastic surgeons for the girls he damages.

There are a few whorehouses that cater to the basest, lowest forms of sexual depravity. I’m sorry I ever had to go into one to drag this guy out of there.

Warning, the worse the depravity the more corrupt political officials you will meet. I’ve had the toughest ex abc guys bail when the threats to family and friends got so bad, they couldn’t help us anymore.

So back to Bob, I first met him over the phone, he’s married, Catholic, has 5 kids, owns one of the largest businesses in a city of one million people.

His wife is beautiful, the kids all in private school, and she finally after 20 years of marriage figures out that a huge chunk of money is missing every year.

She wants me to investigate her husband, do an intervention, lock up his sorry A$$ if I have to. With enough harassment and the threat of public embarrassment we get him into counseling. For 8 years we counseled this guy. And watched as he sank deeper and deeper into depravity. The longest he went without acting out was 119 days.

He joined a church, went to bible study, had a FBI security clearance of very top secret. Finally, during one of their investigations, everything came out. They had got fooled and came to me to ask this guy to go into the program.

Now this is a bible based incarceration program. (I know sounds weird, but that’s where the Lord led us) The only one ever in existence.

After several confessions of faith, he came down with a very rare brain disease. In my heart, I believe God had enough and took him. I don’t know what happened to him spiritually. I can draw conclusions, but I want to say one thing…. Believe that anyone in your church can be Charlie Manson’s cousin!

Well, that’s as far as I want to go. Preachers, Deacons, watch over your flock, love the sheep, but get ready to put one down if you find out the cesspool they are living in starts to seep into the church. (I’m speaking allegorically here of course).

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

a man and a woman

March 4, 2018

Not the Lord, just me. After 40 years of being a marriage counselor, let me offer some extra advice not usually found in a pastoral manual. (and please, this is just me being non-serious, that means I think I am funny).

Women, never date a man who has the following;

  1. More shoes than you

  2. More skin products than you

  3. More clothes than you

  4. Owns a cat

  5. Talks with “air quotes”

  6. Talks in the 3rd person

  7. Smells like mold

  8. Smokes pot

  9. Lives with his mother

  • Drives a jacked-up jeep or pickup truck and lives in the city

  • Can’t get a letter of reference from his pastor

  1. Doesn’t pass a criminal check

  2. Can’t pass a credit check

  3. Doesn’t carry a pocket knife

  4. Wants sex on the first date or expected after an expensive meal.

Men, never date a woman that;

  1. Owns cat, especially more than one

  2. Has paths forged through her house between all the unwashed laundry.

  3. Has rechargeable batteries by the case load in her bedroom.

  4. Doesn’t own a flashlight.

  5. Smells

  6. Can’t cook

  7. Constantly compares you to her father

  8. Offers sex on the first date

  9. Has a restraining order against her last 5 boyfriends

  10. Suffers from migraines more than 3 days and her personality seems to change each time.

  11. Tells you about her little friend visiting, toe fungus or the statement “it’s only a rash.

  12. Has any condoms in her purse or in the glove box of her car or taped to the underside of her coffee table

  13. Doesn’t carry a pocket knife.

  14. The freezer is stocked with tv dinners

  • Talks in the third person about her feminine parts

  1. When she talks about shots, she doesn’t mean Jim Beam

So, a complete list no, but just something to get you thinking.

A marriage is still supposed to be forever, not just for a while.

Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Seriously, take into consideration what makes a good marriage partner, and most of all pray for God to put the right person in your life.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

EVIL WALKS

December 31, 2017

Long ago I had the duty of serving as an expert witness in trials. I did this for about 8 years. I was appointed by the court to observe, counsel and report to the court about men coming up for parole that were violent sexual predators. I was for the prosecution side of the court.

I had a good relationship with each prisoner, I was honest and forthright with them about my role and that they could volunteer or not to have 8 sessions of counseling individually and 6 group therapy sessions. Again voluntary.

I would interview the families of each man and also their victims and inform them of when the parole hearing would take place.

I was warned one day by a bailiff that this one particular judge hated Christians and I should leave out any “faith talk”.

So I thought I was doing a good job, I almost always recommend that the prisoner be remanded to a special lock down facility that specialized in counseling sex offenders, that used everything from chemical castration to some very special equipment like a sexual arousal lie detector. (that’s the layman’s interpretation). It could prove with very accurate degree if the prisoner was really making progress.

I had one prisoner that I recommend a very long sentence and no chance of parole as I felt this man was the very embodiment of evil.

Well I was warned by the judge that evil was a religious term and not to be used in his courtroom. Well after 20 minutes and 200 dollars in contempt of court I was ordered to county jail for 3 days if I persisted.

Both lawyers saw this as all going to hell in a handbasket, I was declared a hostile witness and ejected from the court, minus the 200 dollars but no jail time.

A year later I had the misfortune of entering this judge’s court and as soon as I walked in he went haywire. Ordered me to his chambers and there I found out (duh) never witness to a judge and tell him he’s unsaved. Now with an even lighter wallet. I decided that expert witness in sex trials was no longer my calling.

However, be that as I may be, Evil is a legal, technical term and can now be used in many courts 20 years later. Because the court has reached a new decision, they can’t explain the horrible things people do to each other without saying it’s evil.

A small victory, but still a victory.

I will never go back into counseling sex addicts, deviants, miscreants and the morally reprehensible again. But they are out there.

I’m not really sure how I want to end this devotion but be paranoid, don’t get drunk, don’t go to places you shouldn’t go and just plain behave. Don’t’ become a victim of evil.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

Band Aids (adult theme)

December 24, 2017

Ok, so here is my band aid theory.

Sex, so you’re a virgin band aid, still in the wrapper. You flirt, make out, heavy petting, outer course, the wrapper may show signs of wear but it’s still on.

Now any kind of sex, oral, anal, it’s sex and the wrapper is off.

Why is this a big deal?

There’s only so much adhesive on a band aid.

Peel it apart from another band aid and there’s less stickiness. Keep using the band aid and eventually there is no adhesiveness left.

Now the two band aids with no adhesiveness get married, where’s the glue?

After almost 40 years of marriage counseling, I want to tell you, sticky band aids really have something going for them.

So keep your wrapper on, save it for marriage and really stick together.

(this message was not sponsored by any commercial Band Aid product).

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Bible quiz winner, for our odd question, the winner is Richard J, from Smithers, British Columbia (Canada). As an adopted Canadian I salute you. Having lots of Royal Mounted Police in the family as well as the Royal Canadian Air Force service, God save the Queen.

Oh and the answer was Papua New Guinea (country that has killed the most missionaries by cannibalism) of note, is that Ecuador comes in at ninth. I promise next time to come up with a better question and one more bible related.

MARRIAGE 101

December 11, 2017

Marriage 101

We learn from the Bible that the Lord Jesus honored the marriage ceremony with His presence working there the beginning of His miracles. These miracles indicate that Jesus Christ is the eternal Son of God, the Sovereign and the Creator of the universe, and the wedding ceremony was the first used to demonstrate this glorious fact.

His purpose on earth was to “seek and to save that which was lost,” As the scriptures declare, “God commended His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” The one who sanctifies the marriage union is the Savior of the universe. And the scripture says, “neither is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” And therefore His invitation to all who witness the wedding ceremony is to “come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”, “And Him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out.”

The Bible, which is the Word of God declares marriage to be honorable. It was ordained of God in the time of man’s innocency, before he had sinned against the Lord. Since marriage has always been a divine institution, it is to be entered into soberly and discreetly, as in His sight.

God Himself united the first members of human family, which fact alone should abolish all light and frivolous views of marriage. The bridegroom and bride are partners in life, each forsaking mother and father to cleave unto the other. They share a common name, a united household, a common experience, and a love which blesses and transcends all the cares and trials of life. The mathematics of love–Add and multiply joys while subtracting and dividing the sorrows.

Hopefully you recognize that as wedding vows, they have changed quite a bit since I got married 40+ years ago. Having done hundreds of weddings in hundreds of different settings one thing bothers me. Taking the ceremony seriously.

Number one, I won’t marry anyone that won’t have pre-marital counseling.

Number two, if they are sexually active before they wedding ceremony that have to stop having sex until after the ceremony (yes I’m serious).

Number three, are they equally yoked (that’s a whole different devotion idea I will have to go into.)

Number four, can I convince them that this is for life, “till death do we part”.

Number five, there ain’t no thing as a two headed rooster, someone has to be the head.  (another separate devotion).

Number six, it’s in the vow, “you cleave” stick to each other. Your parents come in second place to your marriage.

Get married and then move 1500 miles away from your family. If you’re daddy’s little girl, stop. Mister, grow up be a godly man.

Well this could go on forever, literally. Honor your marriage vows. Don’t get married just because the invitations went out. Go into it as a forever thing.

Good marriages don’t just happen, they take hard work and lots of maintenance.

Got questions, prayer requests? Send them to scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

THE REAL DEAL

November 11, 2017

Senior Couple At Home

FALSE-POSITIVE

IN 40 YEARS OF PASTORAL COUNSELING LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW ABOUT TRUE LOVE.

FEELINGS DON’T MATTER, IT’S ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT

YOU CAN’T FALL OUT OF LOVE, BECAUSE IT ISN’T ABOUT FEELINGS OR SEXUAL ATTRACTION.

THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS, BIGGEST LOAD OF CRAP LIE PROBABLY EVER TOLD.

IT MAY HAVE BEEN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, BUT IT WAS ALL UPHILL AND HARD WORK THAT GOT US TO 43 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE IS YOU BEING STUPID, CARELESS, RECKLESS AND SHAME ON YOU.

THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS SEX TOYS, THE BEDROOM DOES NOT NEED VARIETY, SPICED UP OR EXPLORED.

I’VE NEVER READ A BOOK ABOUT SEX THAT WAS GODLY AND HONORED MARRIAGE.

LET’S GO FOR BROKE, ANAL SEX IS A SIN, A PERVERSION, YOU DISHONOR YOUR PARTNER.

GOOD SEX IS ABOUT TALKING, HONESTY, RESPECT, LOVE AND CARING, NOT BEING SELFISH OR DOMINEERING, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LET’S WORK OUT OUR FANTASY.

THE BIBLE SAYS TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE BED PURE AND UNDEFILED. NO PORN, NO SEX TOYS, NO MARITAL AIDS.

OH, YEAH, IT’S ALSO BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, NOT TWO BOB’S OR TWO BETTY’S OR GEE, I’M NOT QUITE SURE WHAT I AM.

REAL BIBLICAL, GODLY SEX IS ALMOST LIKE WORSHIP, YOUR SPOUSE MEETS ALL YOUR NEEDS.

WELL THAT’S IT, AFTER A DAY OF LISTENING TO STUPID EXCUSES FOR CHEATING, DIVORCE, AND STUPIDITY, YOU GET TO BEAR THE BRUNT.

GOD BLESS FROM SCUMLIKEUSCHURCH@GMAIL.COM

OH, AND PS, THIS NOT JUST AN OPINION, IT IS GOD’S PLAN FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE.

I want to tell you that 1 Peter verse 2 is one of the greatest verses in the Bible; that shows you just how much God loves you. And, what a wonderful salvation that you have. And, this salvation is the work of the triune (trinity)God. For example, God the Father planned it. The Bible says that you are “elect according to the foreknowledge of God…” (1 Peter 1:2)

Now, when did this take place? When did God choose you? When did God set His love upon you? In the counsel halls of eternity, before you knew anything about it, before He’d swung this world into space, before anything was. Before the foundation of the world, God loved you. Ephesians 1:4 says, “… he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world” (Ephesians 1:4).

 I want to tell you, you are a wanted child. What a great feeling it is for me to know that I was in the heart and the mind of God before the foundation of this world.

Good news, abortion rates are dropping at a whopping percentage, we are at the lowest rate ever since 1970 and Woe vs. Wade.

More good news, Millennials are considered more conservative.

More good news, more people consider a fetus to be a viable human being.

More good news, over half the women having abortions already had an abortion, why is that good news, because the rate of first time abortions is dropping by over 45%. Some women have had up to 15 abortions, the majority of women having abortions are on Medicaid and already had abortions.

Not so good news, in Florida you have to give a reason for the abortion, 93% of women said; “because”. That’s it.

More good news all the statistics that Planned Parenthood give are fake, over inflated and just lies. Just like the lies that 50% of marriages fail. The truth is 25% of failed marriages are already failed. That’s right, the same 25% of marriages are failing over and over again, they are repeat offenders of the sanctity of marriage. Planned Parenthood says 1 in 3 women will have an abortion, the truth is that for 2017 the ratio is really 1 in 9 and the rate of abortions will drop by 2-3% per year if the trend holds.

So dear friend, the sanctity of life as a concept is increasing well.

Not so good, the rate of sexually active people outside of marriage is not dropping. Good news it’s not increasing.

We have to preach and teach not only the sanctity of life but of marriage.

Build a better life, wait for marriage. Build a better marriage by abstaining from premarital sex.

Remember God has chosen you before time, you had a name and a heart beat in the mind of God before the earth was created. There is a sanctity of life.

The reason you are here is because God chose you to have life and to know him. Our chief purpose in life is to worship and glorify Him who planned your existence before time.

Choose life, choose God, choose Jesus.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

real world

October 28, 2017

1 Peter 1:1-9

1 Peter 1:1-9King James Version (KJV)

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,

2 Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

4 To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,

5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

The way to overcome the world is never to fight worldliness. If you fight worldliness, you are bound to fail. The Bible never tells us to fight worldliness. The Bible says, “This is the victory, even our faith,” not our fight, but our faith. We fight the devil, but we do not fight the world. We flee from fornication, but we cannot flee from the world. The victory that overcomes the world is our faith. Now, people have to understand what they have in the Lord Jesus Christ, and if they don’t understand what they have in the Lord Jesus Christ, they have a hunger that they will try to fill with the world.

the Bible says, “If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Now, it doesn’t say that he doesn’t love the Father because he loves the world, but it says if he loves the world, it is because the love of the Father is not in him. The love of the world is only the indication that you don’t know and love God; that your faith has not brought you into a vital relationship with the Lord. The victory that overcomes the world is your faith to understand what you have in the Lord Jesus

it always come down to a choice, choose at that moment of temptation, I can fulfill the lust of the flesh (sex, porn, masturbation, a larger piece of cake, looking to long at the checkout girl etc.) or exercise faith, remember your fight is in your mind, ‘capture all thoughts’ profess your death and resurrection, pray at that moment for the way of escape, like doing the laundry, rinse repeat, don’t sin.

 See the love of the Father. You have to see what you have in the Lord Jesus Christ. And, friend, when you understand what you have in the Lord Jesus Christ, the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. When you’ve been feasting on Jesus, then you don’t have to hunger after the things of this world. And that’s the key, are you feasting on the things of heaven, listening to gospel music, reading wholesome books, one good thing about you tube I can watch all the old sermons of great preachers. (none were ever on Trinity Broadcasting Network). I like a real bible in my hands, but if it’s the electronic version you have and you will use it, then do so. One reason I like a real bible is that way I stay off ipads, and computers and anything else that would help me step off in the wrong direction.

The Bible teaches that the reason that people love the world is the love of the Father is not in them. They have never found satisfaction in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Have you really had a salvation experience? Did everyone assume you are saved because you’re the pastor’s kid, or you grew up in church. Do you know really know that Jesus is your savior? Does your life say you are?

Think about which you love most.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Karen and her husband, they had a huge argument and walk into his study pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head. HE IS STILL A LIVE AND ALREADY BACK HOME.  They’re coming in for counseling. Really, you waited until this to get marriage counseling. Who knows, he said while he was in the hospital; “pastor, I’ve never given my heart to Jesus, is it to late?”

Talk about a second chance.

If you think about it, you will have to agree that sex is a subject frequently addressed in the Scriptures, both Old Testament and New. Though the Bible handles this subject matter much differently than the secular world, it does have much to say on the subject. I can only think of one reason for matters pertaining to sex to be so frequently discussed in the Bible—sexuality must be very closely related to spirituality.

The beliefs and practices of the Corinthian saints seem to vary greatly when it comes to matters of sexual values and conduct. We have already been introduced to the liberal extreme in chapters 5 and 6. In chapter 5, Paul rebukes the church at Corinth for failing to exercise church discipline on a man living in an incestuous relationship with his father’s wife. In the second half of chapter 6 (verses 12-20), Paul confronts those who feel that having sex with a prostitute is not contrary or detrimental to one’s spiritual life. There are those in Corinth whose sexual values are shocking, even to the pagan Corinthians (see 5:1).

What is so sad today is the idea that you can screw your brains out before marriage and then get married and have a great marriage and a normal sex life and a long healthy, happy marriage.

Well here’s the kicker, you can’t. having been a sex addictions counselor and marriage counselor for longer than I like to think. You can screw up your sex life so bad before marriage that you will never be normal. Why lie about it or try to convince yourself it’s all going to work out. It seldom does.

So here’s my advice, 1; protect your virginity. 2; absolutely no pornography. 3; no “other” kinds of sex, like thinking because it’s oral or anal “I’m saving myself.” 4; if you are not married and sexually active STOP. Also stop role playing, it starts our harmless and quickly leads to trouble.

Sex within the confines of marriage, without any kinky weird crap can be beautiful, satisfying and a blessing you will never regret.

No sex toys, no videos that are supposed to ‘help’ your sex life, no Karma Sutra, really you want sex advice from a country steeped in demonism.

Get real counseling from a godly pastor, ignore 99% of those billing themselves as Christian counselors, (they’re not).

And believe this; a person devoted to God can have a great marriage, with lots of help and accountability.

Well this isn’t what I planned but, hey must be for someone.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

think on this

October 8, 2017

Ok, before reading this devotion, remember, I’m not trying to be cruel or a misogynistic Neanderthal. I’m just asking you to think about a topic not ventured on from the pulpit.

There is the mistaken notion that having children will strengthen weak marriages, or that having children will keep a marriage from falling apart. Within this paradigm are individuals who believe that by having children, they themselves will be made complete individuals. The Scripture does teach that children are a blessing from God (Ps 127:3); it does not, however, guarantee that those children will be the resolution to all or any of the personal problems of their parents.

 Having children is not absolutely essential to a happy marriage or relationship to the Lord. Our ultimate joy is in the Lord, not in our children. This needs to be shouted from the rooftops, because many of us have prioritized our children over our spouse and over our God. We may not want to admit this, but deep down we know it’s true. Many married couples determine to stay together for their children. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s very admirable. What’s not so admirable is failing to devote time to your spouse to build a healthy marriage.

I want to bring up a very sensitive topic here, just something for you to think about.

The bible mentions “closing the womb” that it is God who ‘opens’ or ‘closes’ the womb.

The apostle Paul mentions that he would that more adults were like him and unmarried, so they could do more for the Lord.

So here’s the deal; don’t have children because it’s expected, or a tradition or you are being pressured by parents to have grandchildren.

If you are medically unable to have children, consider if this is the Lord’s will and he will bless you in other ways. Don’t torture yourself with drugs and fertility clinics, prayerfully consider what is happening. Your identity is not defined by children.

Before having children make it a matter of prayer to God of if, and when and how many. Scandalous thought right, natural, rhythm, birth control, vasectomies, wow not a hot bible topic. Does ‘be fruitful and multiply’ is it still valid?

Second marriages and previous kids, one word, if the father (non bio) isn’t allowed to be the father and discipline, don’t even bother having a marriage. Find another woman. (I know, stone me) this type of marriage never works and the children end up being intolerable little momma’ boys that don’t respect authority and the girls end up marrying father figures because they never had a good one.

So women, it’s your womb, is it? Or is it God’s.

See I’m devoting this whole week to devotions with no answer by me, you’re going to have to pray about it and figure it out, with God’s guidance.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com