SEXUAL PURITY PART TEN

January 16, 2019

Chess_board_opening_staunton

Confession of sin both to God and to others is crucial. One of Satan’s schemes is encouraging believers to hide sin, instead of confessing it. Through spiritual hypocrisy, strongholds are developed and fortified in a believer’s life. This is the kind of Christian that Satan will destroy. They have closet addictions—closet lusts—that they never share with anyone.

When Christians don’t confess before God and others, they become desensitized to their sin—opening the door for greater strongholds. Paul talks about false teachers who have a “seared conscience” and are deceived by demons in 1 Timothy 4:1-2. Listen to what he says:

The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.

Paul called them “hypocritical liars”—meaning they professed godliness while living in unconfessed sin. Because of this, their consciences stopped working—making them more susceptible to demonic deception. Living in unconfessed sin opens the door for the devil in our lives.

This happens to Christians all the time. How does a pastor who preaches every week continually steal money from the church and live in an adulterous relationship? This type of stumbling doesn’t happen all at once. It’s typically a process of living in unrepentant sin while professing godliness. The hypocrisy slowly silences the conscience of the believer and further opens the door for the enemy.

This is what Satan aims to do in the area of sexual immorality. By continually living in unconfessed sexual sin. You lose the ability to be convicted by the Holy Spirit. Believers quickly find themselves bound to pornography addictions, sexual fantasies, homosexual desires, illicit sex, etc. This is the pathway to destruction, and it typically begins with Christians walking alone—with no accountability and confession in their lives.

Solomon, one of the wisest men to ever live, said this:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)

“Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Who are your spiritual warriors who fight beside you? Who picks you up when you fall? Are there strongholds in your life that you haven’t confessed to anybody? He who walks with the wise becomes wise—they start to live a victorious, godly life.

In a battle, the one fighting alone is the most vulnerable and susceptible to attack.

Why do some fight alone? Some fight alone because of shame—the enemy makes them feel ashamed of their sin. They feel like nobody else struggles with it, and therefore, they never tell anyone. However, Scripture says, “There is no temptation taken you but that which is common to man” (1 Cor 10:13). This battle is something that we all share to various degrees. Don’t let the enemy lie to you and keep you from getting the support needed. Some fight alone because they think they can win the battle without help. However, 1 Corinthians 12:21 says, “The eye can’t say to the hand, I don’t need you.” God created the body of Christ in such a way that we are interdependent—meaning we need one another. We need one another to accomplish the works God has called us to do including gaining victory over lust.

Proverbs 13:20 says this: “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Find wise, godly soldiers to pray with, to confess to, and to gain wisdom from in order to obtain and sustain victory against lust. These wise soldiers will include those who are battle tested and successful in winning the battle against lust. As a college student, I didn’t really start getting victory until I began to be mentored and held accountable by an older, spiritually mature man. Previously, my accountability partners were primarily young men like myself who wanted to be pure but were losing the battle. This was not wrong, but it wasn’t enough. Find wise, godly soldiers to help you win the victory.

This is a strategy every soldier must employ: Find other godly soldiers to fight with—to confess your sins to, to pray with, and to encourage. Also, be willing to let go of those who are not calling on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Reflection

Why is it important to have spiritual accountability in the battle for purity?

How should one select and initiate an accountability relationship?

Who are your accountability partners and how have these relationships helped you?

In what ways do worldly friendships and worldly dating relationships lead to suffering harm, especially in the area of sexual purity?

What other questions or thoughts do you have about this section?

In what ways can you pray in response? Take a second to pray as the Lord leads.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

We are waiting to hear about Caliste Burt’s surgery, keep her in prayer

Remember Steve H. and his church is looking for a pastor.

The Perales family, mom, dad and son, all need salvation.

Bill Warneke is doing better, chronic pain and depression, pray he will go to counseling.

Remember Olivia, pray she carries to full term this miracle baby, and Olivia and baby do fine.

SEXUAL PURITY PART NINE

January 15, 2019

Senior Couple At Home

Many enter marriage thinking that lust will no longer be a problem; however, nothing could be further from the truth. Satan is even more diligent in attacking marriages because the consequences of failure are greater. Moral failure in marriage not only affects the husband and wife but also the friends, the extended family, the children, and the children’s children. The consequences are drastic.

As a pastor and counselor, I’ve lost track of the number of marriages that have been plagued with sexual problems. Almost all of them started the marriage out on a lie. The truth was not told about porn, prior sex habits, even not telling their spouse about a previous marriage. If the foundation is rotten right from the start then there is little hope of it ever correcting.

That’s why its so important to protect your virginity and your moral code.

First Corinthians 7:2, 4-5 says this about sexual temptation in marriage:

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband…. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Paul teaches that sex in marriage protects from immorality. For that reason, married couples are called to faithfully serve one another sexually. When couples are not consistent sexually, it opens the door for Satan’s temptations.

Here, I believe we learn something about Satan’s strategy in the marriage union. Before marriage, Satan works overtime to tempt couples into “sexual intimacy,” but in marriage, he works overtime to keep them from “sexual intimacy.” The strategy changes. Often, right after the wedding, couples find it difficult to be consistent sexually. The husband and wife are often busy at work during the day, and in the evening, they are too tired to cultivate physical intimacy. Temptation to neglect the sexual union becomes even greater when children enter the picture. Couples tend to focus on their children to the neglect of marital relations. In some cultures, the wives co-sleep with the children for several years which also tends to hinder the frequency of sex.

This lack of consistency opens the door for Satan to attack the marriage in many ways. Sometimes, women feel unattractive and less desired by their husband, especially after having a baby. Insecurities begin to creep in and negatively affect the relationship. If the husband is neglected sexually, the enemy often tempts him to find pleasure elsewhere—whether through pornography or through an emotional or physical relationship with another woman.

One way for couples to be more consistent in the sexual union is to talk openly about it and plan for it. The fact that it is not spontaneous doesn’t mean that it is not romantic. Just as in any area of life, “to fail to plan is to plan to fail.” Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”

If you’ve taken a time management course, you know if you don’t plan it’s not going to happen. I’ve found that having a regular date night, planning for sex, planning family trips, not answering the phone at dinner, which is be ate at the table with no tv on. Plan it and it does happen. (and if you’re married put a lock on that bedroom door.)

In marriage, couples protect themselves by faithfully practicing physical intimacy and closing the door on sexual temptation. In fact, Paul says if couples neglect physical intimacy, it should only be by mutual agreement for spiritual reasons—to fast and seek the Lord together.

Reflection

Why is it important for married couples to practice sexual intimacy?

What type of temptations does the enemy often bring when there is a lack of sexual intimacy?

How can married couples strategically cultivate sexual intimacy?

What other questions or thoughts do you have about this section?

In what ways can you pray in response? Take a second to pray as the Lord leads.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Bill is doing better and says thanks for all the prayers.

Caliste’s surgery is tomorrow at 6am.

Remember the Perales family and their need for salvation.

Husbands and Wives part four. Don’t worry about the titles, I mis-numbered where we are, so some will think this is part 3. (we are almost done, hang it there).

It’s interesting that while Titus 2:4 mentions a wife’s loving her husband in the context of submission, neither Ephesians nor 1 Peter (nor Colossians) mention a wife’s love. Instead Ephesians (5:33) and 1 Peter (3:2, 6) both mention respect in connection with submission. Respect is a crucial element of biblical submission.

But what often happens is that a couple starts marriage with high expectations. They’re in love and they think that love will conquer all their problems. But not too far into the marriage, the honeymoon wears off and there are disappointments as expectations are not met. Often this takes place unconsciously, since many of the expectations are not consciously identified. The husband, who may not be as relationally tuned in as his wife, deals with his marital disappointments by burying himself in his job.

The disappointed wife tries to remodel her husband by nagging him about his shortcomings and about not meeting her emotional needs. He’s clueless about how to meet her needs, but he’s pretty confident in his job, so he pours himself into work. When he makes feeble attempts to lead spiritually or relationally at home, she resists his efforts, because she doesn’t respect his relational skills or his spiritual leadership. The end result is emotional distance, relational hurts, and sometimes the disintegration of the marriage.

If, instead of that downward cycle, a wife will work at showing her husband respect, acceptance, and appreciation for anything she can possibly affirm, and she responds to his attempts at leadership, it will lead to greater unity and intimacy in the marriage. Wives, make note of this: Men react to nagging either by flight or by fight. A nice husband will run for cover; a more belligerent husband will fight back. But neither leads to greater marital intimacy. But 1 Peter 3:1-4 says that even a disobedient husband may be won by a wife’s gentle and quiet spirit.

Part of submitting to your husband involves looking for things that please him and doing them. But some of you may be thinking, “If I do that, how will my needs be met?” Or, “I’d meet more of his desires and needs if he weren’t so selfish and would meet more of my needs!” But marriage is not a 50-50 deal (even though that’s what every book and two bit counselor says). Each partner needs to give 100 percent in the way God has ordained and leave their partner’s response up to the Lord. When that happens, God often changes the partner and the needs of the one who stepped out first in obedience to God are met.

Many years ago a wife on the verge of divorce came to me, along with two of our deacons’ wives, who were counseling her to leave him (needless to say, we had several training sessions with deacons and their wives on giving biblical counseling). Her husband, who professed to be a Christian, left early each morning for a long commute to work and returned late in the evening, after stopping off to have a couple of beers at a bar. He would eat dinner, watch some TV, and hit the sack. Except for providing for them, he was completely disengaged from the family. She had to do it all and she was extremely frustrated and constantly let him know about it.

I explained 1 Peter 3 and advised that rather than criticizing and nagging her husband for his lack of involvement, she should thank him for his hard work and for anything else that she honestly could affirm. I told her to make her home a refuge for him so that there was nowhere else that he would rather be. She took my advice and stopped nagging him. Instead, she cheerfully greeted him when he got home, telling him how much she appreciated his hard work. She focused on meeting his needs. He started coming home earlier, eating dinner with the family, and even leading them in family devotions. When I left that church, with tears streaming down her cheeks she thanked me for holding to God’s Word that day. She said, “I wouldn’t have my family together today if you had compromised what God’s Word says.”

So the practice of submission involves an attitude of respect and a response to the husband’s leadership.

If there is one word about what destroys a marriage, it’s “selfishness”. And it is rampant in the church. I don’t get it, because the ‘servant’ mentality that teaches all we are to be should kill selfishness. I have to confess that I was shocked that our deacons’ wives would offer this kind of counseling. I had both the deacons’ step down for one year. To examine their leadership in the home and sent them out of the church to another biblical counselor to work on their marriages.

Counseling almost ender their marriages, because each wife was a ‘liberated’ Christian woman. There is no such thing. Yet, it is one of the biggest obstacles to a healthy, loving marriage. Husbands need respect, women need security. Husbands that don’t come home after work or golf all weekend, simply don’t want to be their wives. It’s vicious circle.

To all believers, lead a biblical life and you will find peace and harmony in all you do. Don’t compromise biblical principals and God will bless you in ways you can’t imagine. And best of all, when the storms of life hit you there will be no doubt about your relation to God. Give God the respect He deserves, and you will have peace of mind and joy.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Susan and her 3 children. Her husband was killed today on the way to work. His pickup truck was hit so hard by another truck, that his truck split in two. The cab and the pickup bed were 45 feet apart. His body burst like a balloon. His dog left only a shadow on the dashboard. If they family didn’t say he traveled with his dog, no one would have even known. The driver that hit him is dead as well and we still don’t know what happened, heart attack, fell asleep, we don’t know.

Life is like a mist; one puff of air and we are gone.

Live every day for the Lord.

HUSBANDS AND WIVES

October 16, 2018

Well, this is really part three with some stuff in between. After the topic of tithing, this seems to be the next most volatile sermon I can preach. I’ve never got death threats from this topic, but I do get some interesting comments from husbands and especially the wives. The fact that it’s biblical doesn’t seem to matter to some folks, “I’m still messing with their marriage”.

Submission is valid for all times and cultures because it is fitting in the Lord.

In God’s original creation, the man and woman together were to reflect God’s image which, in part, involves the voluntary submission of the Son to the Father in order to carry out the divine plan of salvation. Though the Son is co-eternal and co-equal with the Father, Jesus submitted Himself to the cross so that Satan’s dominion would be broken. The husband and wife are to relate to one another as the Father and Son relate to each other. The wife, though equal with her husband, submits to him to reflect God’s image and His relation with Christ the Son and our relation to Christ our Savior.

Paul develops this theme in Ephesians 5 where he states that Christian marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so wives ought to be to their husbands (Eph. 5:24). Why? Because through Christ and the church, which Paul calls the new man, created in God’s image (Eph. 2:15; 4:24; Col. 3:10), God is recovering what was lost in the fall of the first creation. Christian marriage, as the unit of the church, is to reflect God’s image through the sacrificial love of the husband for his wife and the voluntary submission of the wife to her husband in a context of equality as they exercise dominion over God’s enemy.

One way that an enemy can defeat its foe is to instill discontent and insurrection among the ranks. If you can get the enlisted men complaining about their lot, fighting against the officers, and trying to grab authority, you’ve just about won the war. That’s why Satan first approached Eve, not Adam, and got her to usurp his authority. Today his strategy is the same: to promise greater happiness to wives if they will get out from under their husbands’ authority. Many Christian wives do not realize that we are engaged in combat against the unseen forces of darkness in heavenly places and that Christian marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. So they cast off the idea of authority in marriage—and play right into Satan’s hand!

So the principle of the headship of the husband and the submission of the wife is not cultural. In creation God’s order was to create the man first and then to create Eve as his helper. At the fall, the authority of the husband, which the wife had usurped, was specifically decreed (Gen. 3:16). Paul’s analogy of Christ and the church is the basis of his appeal for the proper order in marriage. Thus it is fitting in the Lord for the wife to submit herself to her husband to uphold God’s purpose for creating human beings, namely, to reflect His image and to crush Satan’s dominion. It’s not up for grabs if a culture believes differently.

Beyond the theological reasons, I believe there are other reasons to follow the biblically ordained roles for husbands and wives. God has made us as male and female with distinctive strengths, weaknesses, and needs. When each partner dies to his or her pursuit for self-fulfillment and lives in obedience to God to fulfill the needs of his or her mate, both partners are fulfilled. A godly, loving husband provides protection and support, both financially and emotionally, for his wife, which she lacks if she is independent of him.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Richard C, 91 years old, he came to Jesus late in life. (60’s) because of a Gideon bible in his hotel room. Doesn’t go to church (never has) he feels that reading his bible 2 hours a day is more than enough. We finally got him enrolled in a online bible study and I’m hoping as he “chats” online he will feel the need for personal fellowship. Although at his age he’s pretty set in his ways.

Pray for Betty K, she will bury her husband of 56 years this Wednesday, no kids and a very small circle of friends. She also is sporadic in church attendance, I’m hoping we can help fill the void.

Pray for Kyle, a church worship leader that does coke, I don’t even know where to begin with this prayer request. His pastor won’t make him step down because Kyle is semi famous. So pray for the pastor, the church and Kyle.

the godly couple

October 15, 2018

Ok, I sort of got sidetracked from the discussion of submission, so here is part two.

What is submission?

  1. Submission is to put oneself under another’s authority.

The Greek word Paul (Colossians 3:18) uses here is a military term meaning to put oneself in rank under another. God has ordained the principle of authority and submission in a number of different spheres: Citizens are to be subject to civil authorities (Rom. 13:1; Titus 3:1); slaves to their masters (Col. 3:22; Titus 2:9); church members to their leaders (1 Cor. 16:16; Titus 2:15; Heb. 13:17); children to their parents (Col. 3:20); and wives to their husbands (Eph. 5:22, 24; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet. 3:1). Every time the New Testament speaks to the role of wives, the command is the same: “Be subject to your husband.”

We don’t like the idea of submission to authority. But before you react against this command, consider some mitigating factors. First, whenever God grants authority, it is always for the blessing and protection of those under authority and never for the advantage of the ones in authority. God loves people and in His wisdom He has ordained proper authority for the benefit of the human race. If those in government authority use their position to further their own interests at the expense of those under them, they are corrupt and will answer to God, who delegated authority to them. Likewise, any husband who uses his authority in the home to lord it over his family for his own advantage is liable before God for abusing his authority. To be in authority does not mean greater perks, but rather greater responsibility and accountability before God.

Second, it’s important to recognize that husbands are never commanded, “Exercise authority over your wife!” The headship of the husband is stated as a fact, but the commands to submit are always given to the wife. The husband is commanded to love his wife sacrificially. Almost always when couples come for marriage counseling, they are pointing the finger at each other. The wife complains that the husband is unloving and insensitive. He complains that she isn’t submissive and doesn’t meet his needs. But Paul tells husbands (Eph. 5:25), “Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” He tells wives (Eph. 5:22), “Be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.” When husbands and wives each focus on their God-ordained responsibilities toward each other, there will be harmony, not abuse.

Third, to be in authority does not in any way imply the superiority of the husband or the inferiority of the wife. A wife may in fact be superior in intellect and spiritual maturity to her husband. Paul affirms elsewhere (Gal. 3:28) that she is just as much a member of Christ as her husband is. Peter calls the wife a “fellow-heir of the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7). She is in every way equal as a person to her husband. But God has ordained the principle of authority for the orderly functioning of government, the church, and the home. To resist it is to resist God who ordained it (Rom. 13:1-2).

To put oneself under the authority of another does not imply passivity. A submissive wife is not one who meekly goes along with her husband, while keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself. Close relationships are built on truthfulness and openness in a context of love. If a wife withholds her viewpoint or feelings under the guise of submissiveness, she is creating distance in her relationship with her husband.

Also, a submissive wife should properly confront her husband’s sin. When 1 Peter 3:1 says that a wife should win a disobedient husband “without a word” by her godly behavior, it is not prohibiting her from speaking. Peter means that the main emphasis of the wife’s way of changing her husband should be her behavior, not sermons. A disobedient husband will not be won over by a preaching, nagging wife. But that does not mean that in the context of living a godly life, a wife cannot lovingly speak to her husband about his disobedience and how it is damaging their relationship. If a wife does not speak the truth in love, she is not fulfilling her responsibility in the marriage.

True submission is communicated both by attitudes and actions. A wife can be strong and even outspoken and yet be submissive in spirit if she respects her husband and backs his leadership even when she disagrees. Or she can be outwardly submissive but inwardly defiant, using deception and manipulation to get her own way. God doesn’t want grudging compliance, where a wife says, “I’ll submit; but I know you’re wrong and I’ll never let you forget it when it doesn’t work out.” True submission means that after an open sharing of thinking and feelings, with prayer, if there is still a disagreement, a wife yields to her husband’s authority and seeks to help him in his responsibility to lead under God. In our over 44 years of marriage, My wife and I would be hard pressed to come up with a single instance where we haven’t come to mutual agreement.

When a marriage is one of equality in God, trusting the roles He has laid out for us. And the husband and wife respect and accept the gifts each spouse has, then there is more harmony in a marriage.

I usually give two words of advice to marriage couples; 1, be nice, friendly and loving to each other. 2; Speak only kind words to each other. Yelling and accusations, finger pointing and blaming never solves anything.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Xonia, she will not accept that she has dementia and needs some help in her day to day life.

Pray for Karla, she’s been married 30 years and her older sister is getting a divorce and the older sister is trying to wreck Karla’s marriage to justify her own situation.

the reward

August 26, 2018

balance

Who deserves it, or does it even matter

I was talking to a seminary professor the other day and he told me that over the Christmas break he had taken a walking tour of Scotland to enjoy hiking and especially to visit some very old churches that have stood for hundreds of years.

At one of these churches it was Sunday and it was the last Sunday for this pastor who was retiring at 94 years of age and had spent 50 years as the pastor of this tiny church, hidden in rugged terrain that people had to walked to.

He said the pastor’s sermon was a homiletic master piece, it was deep, moving and a gem. He wondered how the Lord could keep such a master of preaching hidden like a rare gem from the world and how blessed this congregation was to have been guided by such a great shepherd.

He said that as he flew back to America a question began to form in his mind over who would be the most blessed, the pastor of a small struggling flock, that rarely had money, never knew fame, no books no tv shows, but a faithful pastor; or the mega pastor that touched millions and was there a difference in the eyes of God. Would the reward be different?

I asked him if had reached a conclusion and he said he had (with the foreknowledge that he was not God and this was just his humble opinion). He said that had; he believed that the faithful pastor to a small flock, faithful to the word and the work would receive a larger, better reward, because of the struggle and fight just to keep the doors open and no open earthly reward now.

Ok, it’s just one man’s opinion but I agree with him.

And the reason I’m bringing it up is I have a very good friend who is in that same exact position. 35 years at the same church, highly educated, gifted as a speaker, and faithful to the word and the craft of preaching good honest sermons with no baloney or filler at all.

And this month he will receive no salary because the church can’t afford to pay him for an entire month. He doesn’t know that I know this and what I want from all of you is to pray for him because I’ve never seen him so discouraged before.

So please keep this servant of God in prayer that like the children of God in the wilderness that he and his family will be divinely kept, that rust, and moth and corruption will not find root in any part of his life, that the car won’t break down, and no one will get sick and things will just work out; and if just one new face could show up on Sunday.

Because he has been faithful to God, and to the word.

This ain’t a chain letter so if you don’t pray nothing bad will happen to you (ha)

God bless and peace out.

Pray for Paul K, this faithful pastor. Storms have hit his family and the struggle he’s in right now if perhaps one of the toughest places he’s ever been in.

Pray for Paul C, this is the lost lamb, pray he wonders back into the fold, because this particular shepherd can’t find him.

Pray for David P, alcoholism, which he thought was a thing of the past has got him again.

Pray for Don L, close friend, pray for strength, guidance and the knowledge he is never forgotten.

SUPER POWERS

June 13, 2018

Enterprise_5_hr

  “Partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world” (2 Pet. 1:4).

  We are to find out in Romans 6, through the gracious teaching of the Spirit of truth, all that happened to the Lord Jesus there on the Cross. Then we will know our own position and standing, since we were judicially in Him there.

Have you ever thought about God’s thought about you, that you are ‘to be conformed to the image of His Son’? ‘It doth not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him’ (Rom. 8:29; 1 John 3:2).

This cannot fail. The Lord Jesus presses on our hearts that He brings us into association with Himself. He ‘hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus’ (Eph. 1:3). He puts us in this position answering perfectly to His nature, and with a nature to enjoy it.

  “He imparts to us of Himself in order to qualify us for Himself.”

Not only is my blessing in heaven, but I need the Lord Jesus’ power to enable me to rise above the sense of my infirmity down here; for this world, instead of contributing to me, makes me feel my weakness and need, and that I must rise out of it to find and enjoy my blessing.

The very infirmity which this evil age makes me conscious of makes me draw upon the power of Christ, as the One outside it, passing into the heavens, so that I take pleasure in the very infirmity which is exposed here, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

  “God forbid that I should glory, except in the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Gal. 6:14).

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Praise from Anne, 42 days sober

Pray for Rachel, severe ear infection

Pray for Jay P, having knee surgery on Thursday

Cam, pray for this young mom and her battle with cancer.

Pray for Christina and Todd, spiritually curious, pray the right people come into their lives

ADULT TOPIC, CAUTION, READ ONLY IF YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THE TOPIC.

THERE ARE NO PICTURES OR GRAPHIC DETAILS.

WARNING ADULT SUBJECT

Memorial day,

Every 98 seconds, an American is being sexually assaulted.

A government watchdog suggested that Congress might want to prohibit the Defense Department from spending money on Afghan military units whose members sexually abuse children or commit other human rights violations including the sexual abuse of our own American Soldiers. But the Pentagon disagreed with that idea, saying such incidents must be weighed against U.S. national security interests. (REALLY!!!) That attitude will never help soldiers come forward to tell their story because it’s at odds with ‘national interests.’

While in military service 1.5% of men reported being raped by Allied Troops while in the showers in forward operating combat zones. The figure in reality is much higher. Custom knife makers have been making neck knives to especially be worn while showering. Both to defend but also to mark the offenders so they can be challenged in a military court or more practical, shot while out on the next patrol.

The instructions are to slash the face and hands, leave a tell-tale mark. Problem is 99% of the men attacked don’t report it, especially if they were raped.

Hey, I’m a man, I’m supposed to be a lean mean green fighting machine. It’s hard for a man to admit something like that happened. Don’t let anyone tell you keep it to yourself, or, time is a great healer.

40% of women in the military report some form of sexual abuse, from groping, hazing, lewd comments, to physical assault.  Another reason not to have women in the military (in combat areas especially) (my opinion only).

13% of all men have reported the same thing.

What happened to the few, the proud, the Marines.

When I was in the military I saw 1 female in uniform, she was a major, a psychiatrist. Never saw women in the ranks. Never had one driving a truck with me or toting a gun out in the jungle. Now granted we still rode horses and shot bolt action guns (kidding) but it was a very long time.

Different jungle for me, Nicaragua, El Salvador, the Banana Republics. For me we were told if you end up in prison down there kill yourself immediately. We all carried several knives, two single shot pistols as well as the usual weapons. We never all slept at the same time, two up 5 down, hypervigilance. Our biggest problem was money. Living in a place where bribes were 3 times larger than your annual salary. There was no loyalty.

So on this Memorial day, I’m encouraging soldiers to step up, speak out, sell your story (repeat until someone listens). Find someone to help you tell it all. Lay aside the self-blame. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. You’re not less of a man for telling the truth about what happened. Women, the court experience can be worse than the event. You will be pictured as a slut, asking for it. I’m sorry, that’s all I can say, it’s not right. But hang tough. Take another beating, this time in court. But break the S.O.B. that did this to you.  As a soldier I apologize for what happened. A pastor might tell you vengeance is the Lord’s. well as a pastor, the court system is a part of God’s system. We won’t even go into the problems with the court. But it is what it is. By submitting to the law, you are submitting to God.

As our society further decays it is only going to get worse.

Changing the venue, sexual abuse here in the church, first thing, notice how high the numbers are that are being reported. It’s still to big a risk, to much shame in the military for men and woman to come forward. The stakes are higher while being in the military. You can lose your entire military career, or never be promoted, driven out silently.

In church, you just change churches. (I’m not making light of the situation) both are horrible events. But the problems are vastly different in the environment where the abuse happens. Because the systems are different, civilian world is an open system, whereas the military is a closed system.

Let’s turn to the church world

  • Evangelicals are initially more skeptical of media reports, even well-documented ones, than are members of the population at large—even when such reports come accompanied by significant evidence and documentation. It appears that we are more likely to go with the legal system’s “innocent until proven guilty” rule of thumb than the Bible’s “at the mouth of three witnesses let a thing be established” guideline. Nevertheless, when journalists continue to provide evidence, evangelicals are slowly persuaded.

  • That means often we believe the high-profile person who says “I didn’t do it” over the less powerful person saying, “You did this. And I have nothing to gain and everything to lose by bringing it up.”

  • When #MeToo initially went viral many Christians assumed the church was ahead of the culture in terms of morality. But it just took longer for the church stories to break. #ChurchToo followed with many stories about abuses of power beneath the steeple.

  • Some have suggested that a key problem with sexual harassment accusations is that the lines are gray, and people have misunderstood simple flirting—making a big deal out of nothing. But some solid Barna research contradicts such thinking. People, it turns out, are pretty clear about what constitutes crossing the line.

Hey, in my marriage it was simple, don’t look, don’t touch, don’t even think about it.

 Americans say that sexual harassment is most often about being touched or groped (women: 96%, men: 86%) or being forced to do something sexual (women: 91%, men: 83%). The list encompasses more than these extremes, however; it also includes someone touching themselves intentionally or masturbating in front of an unwilling witness (women: 89%, men: 76%); making sexual comments about someone’s looks or body (women: 86%, men: 70%); and sharing intimate photos or videos of someone without permission (women: 85%, men: 71%).

  • Christians who provide well-researched, investigated reports on allegations of sexual harassment and abuse are doing holy work, bringing darkness to light. Often public accountability is the only way to keep powerful people honest. Even church boards, seeking to reduce negative publicity, are often complicit in cover-ups.

  • There are a lot more people who get harassed and abused and finally come forward than there are who get falsely accused. So while we must take both seriously, we must also recognize our tendency to disbelieve the powerless.

  • If someone’s behavior is illegal (e.g., rape, child porn), the church has an obligation to more than deal with it internally; they must report it to the police. So those of us in leadership need to be familiar with our states’ laws. Many mental-health professionals believe that the power differential is so significant in minister with parishioner, physician with patient, and counselor with client relationships that there is no such thing as “consent.” That being the case, words such as “affair” have no room in our vocabulary for describing such situations.

  • When calling for an independent investigation, we need to look for ways that even a so-called independent investigation can leave the researcher beholden to the one(s) paying the bills. Such ties can create a conflict of interest—which can lead to accusations of cover-ups. So we must aim for fuller transparency and accountability.

  • When people confide in us their stories, we must avoid victim-blaming. One way to do so: ask super open-ended questions such as “What seemed the best course of action to you and why?” rather than “Why didn’t you call the police immediately?” Our questions can inflict more pain if we aren’t careful.

  • It is not enough to call for resignation when a leader has harmed a parishioner. And a verbal apology is not enough, either. Healing involves also making reparations such as taking full responsibility via rhetoric and paying for victims’ counseling. (When Zaccheus repented of ripping people off, he did more than apologize. He paid back his victims more than they had lost through his thievery. See Luke 19.)

Paul called on the Ephesians to expose the deeds of darkness Eph. 5:11). If you know of abuse happening—whether it’s like a David with a Bathsheba or a Potiphar’s wife with a Joseph—do something. Tell someone! The church of all places should be the best place in the world for victims and victimizers alike to encounter both mercy and justice.

Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. (Galations 6:9)

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

 

Enter into His rest!

May 8, 2018

  “Rejoice in the Lord always!” (Phil. 4:4)

  Exhaustive effort brings home the necessity of strengthening rest. The believer will not be ready to enter into his spiritual rest until he is utterly worn out by his unsuccessful efforts to conquer sin and the old man. There is no rest for the “wretched man” of Romans 7—that struggle must lead to the rest of Romans 8.

  “Grace is sufficient for favorable circumstances, but they are by far the most trying (spiritually) to the believer. There is an easy way of going on in worldliness, and there is nothing more sad than the quiet comfortable Christian going on day by day, apart from dependence upon the Lord.

  “It must be as with Israel and the manna; there must be the daily gathering and daily dependence upon God. If circumstances come between our hearts and God, we are powerless. If the Lord Jesus is nearer, circumstances will not hinder our joy in God “

  “The heart of man naturally seeks rest, and seeks it here. Now, there is no rest to be found here for the believer; but it is written, ‘There remaineth, therefore, a rest to the people of God’ (Heb 4:9).

 To know this is both full of blessing and full of sorrow: sorrow to the flesh; because it is always seeking its rest here, it has always to be disappointed; blessing to the spirit, because the spirit, being born of God, can only rest in God’s rest, as it is said, ‘If they shall enter into My rest’ (Heb. 4:5). What God desires for us is to bring us into the enjoyment of all that which He Himself enjoys.

  “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him” (Ps. 37:7).

Waiting that’s the hard part.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com

Pray for Ronnie S, hurt his back

Pray for Benjamin C, eye problems, going to need surgery.

Praise from Colin, his eye has completely healed.

Pray for Lisa and Matt, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a marriage with this many problems. Pray especially for Lisa that she would come to her senses, spiritually and emotionally.

 

WARNING ADULT CONTENT=FRANK DISCUSSION ON SEX

MEDICALLY INDUCED SEXUALITY

SHORT VERSION, I’M AGAINST IT.

THE UNINGREDIBLE MR. LIMPET

So, in my many pastoral roles as psychologist, sex therapist, sex addiction counselor, marriage and family counselor, violent sex offender counselor and victim therapist, prison chaplain, plus my varied checkered past. I have heard, seen, and witnessed every good and deviant sex act.

So first an assumption. You are married, your wife has gone through menopause, you’re over 55 years old, and you have been married to each other a long time.

Long is a relative term. You’ve had a good marriage, you are friends, pals, partners and you have figured out the yin and yang of the marriage. You have not defiled your marriage, no affairs, no porn, no sex toys and you are Christians.

If you don’t fall into these categories, go read the comics or file it away for a rainy day.

If you need medicine in order to have sex or have the drive, then I would advise it is time to put the horse in the barn and leave it there.

Concentrate on all the other areas of marriage enrichment. Non sexual intimacy, cuddling, conversation, communication, sharing and enjoying the discovery of your God given mate.

After 44 years of marriage, my wife still surprises me, like a diamond, there always seems to be a new facet to her personality. We are still learning who we are.

I bring this topic up because if you don’t prepare for this stage of marriage. And if your marriage was based on sex. Then good luck on having a pleasant time. And especially you men. You were only a sex god in your own mind. The emotional needs of your wife have grown more not less.

so here’s to reality, and don’t believe all the ‘studies’ of those over 60 that say it’s the best sex of their life. Mr. Limpet it’s not possible. Notice there are no bible verses in this devotion. It’s only an opinion, everybody has one.

God bless from scumlikeuschurch@gmail.com